Fight Club-Inspired Acts of Idiocy: Trendy

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Hamilton Nolan

09/18/09 11:24AM

Filed to: trendwatch

An employee at a Texas school for the developmentally disabled has been sentenced to four years in prison for making the school's poor students battle each other Fight Club style. Well, to be fair: he's a trendy guy!

This guy, the Texas Terror: "The videos showed night staff instigating the fights at one of the facility's dorms, even kicking residents and telling them what to do." What a bunch of human cocks.
The Teenage UES Starbucks Bomber: "Mr. Shaw had bragged to friends that he was responsible for the bombing, [NYPD head Ray] Kelly said, and had started an underground fight club modeled on the one in the 1999 film."
The Republican Party's Tea Bagger Faction: "The coming revolution is akin to 'Fight Club,' the 1999 film that follows the struggles of day to day life for a regular guy who starts an underground fight club as radical and not terribly productive psychotherapy."

Three's a trend. Not to mention the fact that you can just go put "Fight Club" into Google News any old day and, bingo (for example), "Bloody Underground High School Fight-Club Exposed."

That book was not even that good.

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dragonhorse Hamilton Nolan 09/18/09 01:04PM

I think that our ringleader friend is about to get what he wished for. Where he's going, EVERY night is your first time at FIGHT CLUB! Sometimes you're Tyler; more often you're Marla.

My_Latest_Incarnation dragonhorse 09/19/09 12:41PM

@dragonhorse: Only a dumb, over-indulged 'burb spawn would find 'Fight Club' cool. A teenager who goes to a inner city public school on a bus would refer to 'Fight Club' as "I't's 8:45 and I'm waiting for the 305 North on Willowbrook Avenue. You wanna start something with me, Bitch?' Public school kids sneer at yuppie twats and their 'tough guy' act.

As Jeff 'Redneck' Foxworthy put it, "If your mommy drives you to school, you ain't no gangsta".

Spirit Fingers Hamilton Nolan 09/18/09 11:51AM

I just want to know why we can't ever have a biscuit and gravy club? I'm thinking the only casualty would be extreme bloat, some digestive sluggishness, and perhaps a few lumps that certainly can be whipped out with a little elbow grease and milk. Great for extra soppage, right? Right. Clearly no fatalities. Just need strong arteries. Win for us all.

Beating on the short-busers...that's no trend we can believe in. Gravy....always.

nozer Spirit Fingers 09/18/09 11:55AM

@Spirit Fingers: If it's your first night at biscuit and gravy club, you must eat biscuits and gravy.

PestiEsti nozer 09/18/09 11:58AM

@nozer: In Project Grits, we have no names.

Spirit Fingers nozer 09/18/09 11:58AM

@nozer: And the first rule of biscuit and gravy club is...flour is your friend. Use liberally!

DahlELama nozer 09/18/09 12:02PM

@nozer: Finally, a rule I can gladly abide by. As long as it's OK to talk about the biscuits and gravy, of course.

AndPreciousLittleofThat Hamilton Nolan 09/18/09 11:39AM

Why is it that morons always take away the "beat the shit out of people" lesson from that movie, instead of, say, the "make soap by hand" lesson? Or the "don't fuck with Helena Bonham Carter" lesson?

snugbug AndPreciousLittleofThat 09/18/09 11:55AM

@AndPreciousLittleofThat: [SPOILER] I personally cherish the lesson that multiple personality disorder is an excellent coping mechanism.

lacieca01 AndPreciousLittleofThat 09/18/09 12:01PM

@AndPreciousLittleofThat: Or the "Brad Pitt can wear ridiculous faux-70s hipster garb and look hot, but nobody else in the world can, so don't try it" lesson.

WordyNinja lacieca01 09/18/09 12:32PM

@lacieca01: It took me years to learn that one.

gawkimo AndPreciousLittleofThat 09/18/09 01:36PM

@AndPreciousLittleofThat: Or that the lesson in the book is that Fight Club and Project Mayhem lead to the self-destruction of mouse-minded followers.

TheExperience Hamilton Nolan 09/18/09 12:03PM

The teabaggers are aware that Project Mayhem was a network of domestic terrorists hellbent on crippling this country, right? Not a bunch of wholesome country folk who believe that grandma is going to get put down with the dog?

barmishmar TheExperience 09/18/09 12:50PM

@TheExperience: seriously... is that for real? How could anyone refer to Ed Norton's character in fight club as a "regular guy"?