Having covered breast healthcare issues all week, the papers move south to other ladyparts today. But forget all that, buy the tabloids, and read about a foot model cast out into the street (almost) for her princess-and-pauper love.

Cervical cancer screenings are being added to the wider debate about healthcare today. Only the New York Times offers any sober analysis of the wider issue here - whether expensive healthcare to save only a few lives is justifiable. Other than that there's no real consensus on the story of the day. News that Tim Geithner is under concerted attack by Congress makes a couple of the front pages, but frankly is something of a non-story. Find a day when Congress is not doing something whacky, and some member of the administration is not under attack. The real joy today is in spotting the puns and sly innuendos in the tabloid reporting of the story of an Upper East Side foot model who married a porter in her building and may now be evicted as a result. Why the broadsheets do not think this is front pages news is a mystery. Just because it's frivolous, doesn't mean it's not interesting.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: leads with the story that there is now a debate on cervical cancer tests, to go with the one on mammograms. There is some much-needed analysis of both confusing issues too. Given equal prominence is the news that the air defences put in place after 9/11 — to specifically target people trying to fly planes into skyscrapers — are to be looked at to see if they're really necessary. There's a nice in-depth look at the woes of the University of California, who are making swingeing cuts while they hike fees by 32 per cent. There's the end of the Oprah Winfrey show and the end of State Senator Bruno's alleged misuse of his public office.

The Washington Post: unleashed the big guns and sent Rajiv Chandrasekaran to Afghanistan. He reports that the US and Karzai are learning to love each other again. Congress, which is increasingly resembling a wrestling match, is upset that Obama can't wave a magic wand and make the economy better. Republicans are calling on Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to resign. Nearby, Harry Reid is seeking the 60 votes he needs to move to a final debate on healthcare reform. There's more ladyparts healthcare news and a nice feature, following one young man, on the lack of black pilots in the air force.

The LA Times: has the cervical cancer screening news below the fold and leads with a story about health workers who will now be subject to up to 104 drug tests in their first year. In other health news; the regents at the University of California may be unpopular for raising fees, but they've also helped reopen a hospital. Politics only makes the front page today in the form of allegations that the White House interfered in the investigation of the mayor of Sacramento for financial misdeeds and inappropriate behavior. Oprah is quitting her show! Who knew? And the paper send their roving reporter to New York today, to talk to some unpaid actors. She probably didn't have to look far.

The Wall Street Journal: leads with the news that Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner is under attack. For which they have found an excellent 'out of time' picture. They've made an interesting choice to run the story about yesterday's problems with air traffic control on the front. Which is probably a good idea considering the number of people flying next week. There's union trouble in India and the story that gets a picture on the front of the LA Times gets some words here - buffalo in California are to go on birth control.

The New York Post: there are just too many good quotes in this story about "the Heidi Klum of foot models" who may be evicted for marrying a porter in her building. Everyone hates them! Someone hit her husband in the nuts! Almost every line is a wonder of foot-based puns. This is why we need tabloids!

The Daily News: the News are slightly less pun-tastic than the Post on the foot model story, but gets into more depth. They also have news on the Gotti trial.

Newsday: apparently the people of Long Island care more about Oprah's quitting than anyone else today. They devote almost the whole cover to it. Also, she is clearly waving hello here, not goodbye. Also also, the next front page is slightly NSFW.

Amazonia Hoje (Brazil): this is dreadfully sexist, you're probably thinking. How dare they show a topless woman on the front when they don't have a topless man on the... oh, what's that in the background. Fair and balanced! If anyone can speak Portuguese and shed any light on why Obama is depicted as a pig, that would be nice.