Why, oh, why did Newsweek allow Bill Clinton to contribute to a feature called The Decade's Happiest Endings?

Sure, he saved a pair of truth-seeking reporters from the hellish nightmare that is a lifetime of hard labor in a dictatorial communist nation—but, c'mon.

Americans love happy endings, and they got a big one on Aug. 4, 2009 ... Witnessing it was a gift I'll always treasure. Soon they walked off the plane into the embrace of their families, their country, and good people all over the world-now that's a happy ending. We should make more of them.

Also, Bill is wrong, because The Miracle on the Hudson was clearly the happiest ending of the decade, not least because it had both kinds of happy endings.