Here's a teaser trailer for Oliver Stone's new, either-really-timely-or-really-dated Wall Street sequel, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. Which is true! But it does burn in credit fires. Anyway, look! Gordon Gecko is old! Shia LaBeouf is young. Money is... asleep.

Oliver Stone was probably thinking of fat old 2006 while putting this project together, but then that whole catastrofuck happened and he was like "Uh, well, I already paid for the cameras and stuff, and there's all this food here..." So he kept going and made it about doom rather than boom. Sounds, well, like not a lot of fun. Gordon Gecko comes out of jail with his enormous cell phone and his wrinkly face to, what, lose all his money all over again in September 2008? Get harangued by Michael Moore? And young upstart Shia LaBeouf zips snappily through snappy offices in his snappy suit, then gets laid off and boomerangs back to his parents' basement in Silver Spring? Sigh. Not again.