Science Now Officially the Hottest Thing Ever
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Fighting ladies! Failed erections! Sexy studies! Stroke prevention! And the hottest thing ever! It's your daily science watch, in which we watch the science—scientifically!
- Have you had cancer and subsequently lost your ability to get an erection? Scientists say the cure is to write a story about it in the NYT.
- Should women be allowed in combat? This lady with extensive Army experience says yes, but maybe her husband says no? Scientists are mystified!
- "Government scientists" are seeking 100,000 pregnant women. What is this, some sort of kinky government fluid-extraction sex survey process? Actually yes.
- Scientists have created the hottest temperature ever: 4 trillion degrees Celsius. Don't fuck with them.
- One out of four people who have a stroke will probably die within a year, of something. "Don't have a stroke," advise scientists, while brandishing their white-hot wizard staffs.