Remember freshman year when the girls had to talk to the school nurse about menstruation? Well, Esquire Editor-in-Chief David Granger is doing that but for Hearst's male employees. It's called "Your Pump, Your Plumbing, and a Cocktail." Gross!

It's a "Men's Wellness Panel Discussion" that is being advertised to all the swinging dicks that still have a job working in the magazine industry. And the design is black with big letters in white and bold. It says man. It says macho. It says "We're trying to keep our health care premiums down, you sick motherfuckers." If you show up, you get to hear from a cardiologist and a urologist. Finally, the two people who can answer your Viagra questions at the same time! Oh, and drinks will be served, because when you're sitting next to your boss listening about aging penises, you're going to need a cocktail. Seriously.