The Amazing Race: Return of the Roaming Gnome
After two Chile-riffic episodes, the teams finally made their way to another country! All they needed was to take a "scenic, six-hour" bus ride through the Andes into Bariloche, Argentina. And the challenges had the cowboys written all over them.
Jet & Cord, fresh of their win in Puerto Varas, were the first team to depart. The first task was to find an old fashioned saloon called "El Boliche Viejo" (The Old Joint) where Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid hid out while they were in Argentina. See what I mean about the tasks being cowboy favored? This is only the beginning, too. Once inside the saloon, they have to play a hand of poker against the Travelocity Roaming Gnome, but more on that later. I, for one, am ecstatic the little guy is back this early in the game. It is my favorite product placement in a T.V. show. Ever. I just hope that this season's teams love the Gnome as much as the Globetrotters did last year. They really formed a great bond with theirs. Viva la Roaming Gnome!
Since the top three teams automatically got spots on the first bus to Bariloche, Jet & Cord had time to stumble upon a local at a bar who knew exactly what El Boliche Viejo was and gave them all the details they'd need to find it. Seriously, I think their hats are made of four-leaf clovers and rabbit feet. Meanwhile back at the hotel, Brent & Caite came down with the Chilean version of Montezuma's Revenge and opted to go to the hospital instead of departing, and while they were being treated, team after team blew past them. Luckily for them, they recovered enough to rejoin the race, albeit in last place.
Once all the teams were out of the starting gate and waiting for their respective buses, the lesbians took the opportunity to interrogate the cowboys as to how the hell they ended up in first place, because they just couldn't wrap their heads around how any team could be better than them. And instead of taking a sweet approach to get answers, they just grilled Jet & Cord who maintained their adorable "aw shucks" attitude and kept quiet, but let the camera guys know later on how rude they thought Carol & Brandy were. I mean did they really think the cowboys were just going to spill the secrets right out of their ten gallon hats? Please.
When everyone was on the road, it seemed that Heidi & Joe joined the lesbians in realizing just how smart Team Cowboy is, because they tried to follow them straight to El Boliche Viejo. But both teams were outsmarted by Jet & Cord yet again. When they saw that Heidi & Joe and Carol & Brandy were following them, they drove really slow, pulled over and played dumb so they'd pass them up, and they still got to El Boliche Viejo before Carol & Brandy.
In other news, Dan & Jordan really suck at driving manual. This is the second time in three episodes that they've run into car trouble because they don't know how to drive a stick shift. Didn't they do any research before applying to be on this show? Have they never seen an episode of The Amazing Race? The cars are always stick. Always.
While Carol & Brandy and Heidi & Joe destroyed their gnomes in poker, everyone's (read: my) favorite cowboys had some really rough times trying to beat their Roaming Gnome. They lost quite a few times to the pa-pa-pa pokerfaced gnome, before they were able to finally score a win.
But it's okay, because the Road Block? Participating in the gaucho (which is Spanish for cowboy) tradition of steer roping. SERIOUSLY. Who knew all Argentina had to offer was gunslingers and lasso lessons? If Phil & the gang keep this up, they might as well just give Jet & Cord the million right now and call it a day. The lesbians, who have pretty clearly marked that they hate/want to beat the cowboys and only the cowboys, were visibly pissed off about the Road Block catering to Jet & Cord. I say they should quit their whining and run the race.
Heading into the Detour, the cowboys maintained their lead after Jet successfully roped the steer on his second try. The choice this week? Horse Sense or Horse Power. In Horse Sense, teams had to get a set of coordinates from a gunslinger and walk the right number of paces North, South, East and West to find a bag of stolen money to bring to the lead bandit at the train station. In Horse Power, they had to play polo on a wooden horse, which they had to carry down the field as they tried to score a goal in nine swings or less. And that wooden horse didn't look light. Due to the super complicated directions of Horse Sense, only two teams actually completed it, Jeff & Jordan and "mom"trepreneurs Shawne & Monique. Everyone else either went straight to Horse Power or failed at Horse Sense, and then rocked the polo field instead. It blows my mind that the doofy Big Brother couple was actually able to finish the more confusing of the two Detours. I think Jeff was just as surprised as I was.
In the end it was the sassy "mom"trepreneurs who came up short. Between being the last ones to complete the steer roping because they had loads of trouble with it, and then having even more trouble with Horse Power, they eventually got the stolen money, gave it to the Lead Bandit, but were still the last ones to arrive and were eliminated from the race. And with Shawne & Monique, we say goodbye to the Jesus loving and cutesy slogan t-shirts that say "Moms Rule!" It's a shame their sassiness didn't get more camera time, and now we'll never get to see their full sass potential. Le sigh.