Today at Gawker.TV, Jessica Simpson admits to not brushing her teeth, The Office teaches us how to be men, Sarah Silverman snorts coke alongside Andy Samberg and invisible friends, and our version of Greenzone starring 30 Rock and David Schwimmer.

Matt Damon's Greenzone Starring 30 Rock's Greenzo
Matt Damon's new thriller Greenzone essentially looks like a continuation of the Bourne series, and frankly, it's getting a bit stale. This movie needs David Schwimmer playing a hard-to-kill, environmentally friendly protagonist named Greenzo.

Jessica Simpson's Dental Hygiene May Be an Issue
In what looks like a bad Proactiv commercial, acoustic guitar plucks away as Jessica Simpson admits to not brushing her teeth. This is met with nervous laughter. She then repeats this fact. Again, more nervous laughter. What is going on?

The Office Sheds Insight on Masculinity in Today's Workplace
What does it mean to "grow a pair?" From courtship to work ethic to pissing contests and drinking, last night's Office showed us how to be men.

Sarah Silverman does Cocaine with Imaginary Dinosaur, Andy Samberg
The Sarah Silverman Program hit a new high last night, featuring drug-fueled parties with all of her imaginary friends! Everyone was there, including Andy Samberg and an imaginary dinosaur with more bumps than just those on his back.

Your New iPhone App: The Trans-Border Immigrant Tool
This morning, Fox News featured a new iPhone app designed to assist illegals with their quest to enter the US by locating safe water sources, monitoring border patrol and inspiring through poetry-all funded by your tax dollars. Cue the outrage!