Titanic jokes, ahoy! The National Review is offering a delightful cruise in Portugal and Spain for anyone who wants to know what it's like to be trapped in an enclosed space for a week with the likes of Michael Mukasey.

Mukasey is of course the former U.S. Attorney General who refused to call water-boarding torture. Whether simulated drowning constitutes torture might be up for debate in some circles, but we can all agree that forcing terrorists to spend seven days aboard the MS Amadouro with these people would be prohibited by the Geneva Conventions:

  • Michael Mukasey: U.S. Attorney General (AND TORTURE APOLOGIST)
  • Dick Morris: Prominent political consultant (AND FOX NEWS BLOWHARD)
  • William McGurn: Wall Street Journal columnist, chief speechwriter for President Bush (HE WROTE MANY WORDS BUSH SPOKE)
  • Ralph Reed: Chairman of Faith and Freedom Coalition (ENOUGH SAID)

But wait—there's more! Not only does your $3399 get you "six scintillating seminars with NR editors and guest speakers" and "intimate dining on two evenings with a guest speaker or editor." You also get to hang out with dozens of other people who paid $3399 for the travel equivalent of getting gouged in the neck by a wild kangaroo.

Visit nrcruise.com and book your trip using Visa, Mastercard, or the severed toes of newborn infants.

Spring break 2010!!!