Have you seen these commercials for Liberty Mutual? It's like the entire population of New York City is on ecstasy, which you'd have to be batshit crazy to think is a Good Thing.

They show a bunch of people doing good deeds for one another, "pay it forward" style, with an intensity that eventually breaks the spacetime continuum and allows the receiver of the final favor to go back in time to offer the very first favor which kicked off the entire cycle of madness.

It's all only moderately annoying, but one scene always bothers me: The dude who holds the elevator. That son of a bitch…

For the sake of all that is holy in this godforsaken world, do not do that. If you hold the elevator as blatantly as this guy, you deserve to have your face eaten off by your fellow passengers before you reach the 3rd floor. Seriously, pull a stunt like that in my presence and I'll shiv you in the back with a dull chicken bone.

I'm sure it's a lovely insurance company, though.

Christopher goes by topherchris on the internet so people won't make the connection between him and all those penis pics.