They're "laughing and flirting" now—when will they start canoodling? Suri Cruise hits the bottle to mask depression. Jon Gosselin entertains another TV show. Tiger Woods mistress #15. Catherine Zeta-Jones' bones. Sunday's gossip roundup is highly suspicious.

  • Starring with ex-girlfriend of four years Cameron Diaz in a rom-com, Justin Timberlake is "laughing and flirting" on set. "They are acting like a couple teenagers, constantly laughing and joking with each other." Somewhere, current J.Timb girlfriend Jessica Biel is locked in the bathroom, hyperventilating. [P6]
  • "Suri Cruise, Nearly 4, Is Still Using a Bottle!" This hard-hitting expose reveals that Suri—who turns four in a week—has been hitting the bottle in New York City. She is long overdue to wean. Like adults, kids hit the bottle to mask lingering depression. "Sucking is normal for kids when they are tired or bored." I think he means short-term, like at the end of a long day of paparazzi chases, but whatever. Suri Cruise: Bored, depressed, and sucking. Driven to the bottle by the harsh glare of fame. [Us]
  • Out at an L.A. club, LiLo danced so hard she sweated through her dress and changed into a new one an hour later. Does she carry extra dresses in her purse? Was an assistant tasked with driving home to fetch one? [P6]
  • Another Gossip Girl onset romance bites the dust: Leighton Meester and Sebastian Stan (Carter Baizen) had an "amicable" split. Since I never believed GG's multitude of onset romances anyway (too many, too convenient) I now suspect whatever publicist was tasked with forcing them to fake-date has had a sudden change of tactics. [NYDN]
  • Are we really up to Tiger Woods Mistress #15? Devon James banged him in 2007, when Elin was pregant. "He said that he was frustrated and depressed, that his wife didn't sexually satisfy him—that he wasn't attracted to her very much anymore. He told me the only two things he cared about are golf and sex." This is sad because it is believable. He really needs to stop confiding in the strangers he plows. As a gift, Tiger once Devon "an unsigned Tiger Woods golf ball." She was there for the generic Tiger Woods experience—why deny it? It's actually sort of witty. [R&M]
  • "Under the right circumstances" Jon Gosselin would do another show with Kate. "The contract would have to be tighter." These people will do anything for money. [TMZ]
  • "It's Catherine Zeta-Bones... what's happened to the Welsh actress's voluptuous curves?" Side-by-side comparisons reveal that CZJ is making like an aging star of Friends and slenderizing as she ages. [DailyMail]
  • Unauthorized Oprah biographer Kitty Kelley says nobody will book interviews with her because they fear Oprah. But Larry King's people say, "It's total bullshit. She never talked to Larry King. She was pitched to us, and we turned her down—we also turned her down on her last book about the Bush family six years ago." Accusing people of snubbing you is hard like that, for it is an accusation easily—and embarrassingly—denied. [P6]
  • Heidi Montag wore a bikini and posed. She looks exactly like a Barbie doll, right down to the perpetually pointed toes. [JJ]
  • Celebrities at the White House Correspondents dinner have always confused me. Are we incapable of having a black-tie event without Hollywood's boldfaced names? Mary J. Blige and the Jonas Brothers are coming this year. [P6]
  • Dakota Fanning was photographed with little sister Elle, who has the same porcelain skin and fine blonde hair, but is taller and has sleepier eyes and rounder features—and is, according to Wikipedia, twelve. This makes my wish for them to costar in a Virgin Suicides-like film feel suddenly inappropriate . [JJ]
  • Julia Roberts niece and tween actress Emma Roberts is a fashionista. "I want to do something in fashion that wouldn't be cheesy. I wouldn't do, like, Emma Roberts for Target." This girl has no idea what she's talking about. [JJ]