Michael Douglas says he got cancer from going down on someone (Catherine Zeta-Jones?).

Here is the trailer for the adaptation of Adam Shankman's'80s musical, Rock of Ages, and holy hell guys, what is going on here? Alec Baldwin in a mop-wig. Tom Cruise in a mop-wig that harkens back to a time in which he was inviting us to respect the cock. Paul Giamatti looking, well, sparse as usual. This trailer is flat out bonkers and frankly, I could not be more excited for this beautiful disaster.

We were worried about her there for a moment, but it looks like Velma Kelly is going to be A-OK, hoofing it once more in a big showy musical. Also today: bad news for Kathleen Turner, good news for some random child, and the best news for Gabourey Sidibe.

Demi Lovato gives her first post-rehab interview. Charlie Sheen comes out as a birther. Catherine Zeta-Jones opens up about her bipolar disorder. Wednesday gossip has nothing to hide.

After weathering husband Michael Douglas' battle with cancer, Catherine Zeta-Jones has checked into a mental hospital to treat her bipolar disorder. Says her publicist:

Katy Perry's mom writes a memoir about her daughter's dirty pillows. Chris Brown's neighbors hate him. Matt Damon on the transitive property of kissing. Prince William cuts water sports from his bachelor party. Monday gossip is damned.

[Catherine Zeta-Jones was doing her best Gloria Swanson at Heathrow Airport this morning. Image via INF]

Mystic tanned to the point of unrecognizability, Bristol Palin promises to stay true to herself on primetime TV. Rachel Uchitel gets barred from Park Avenue. Paris Hilton gets barred from Vegas nightclubs. Wednesday gossip can only go so far.

America was stricken Tony Awards fever on Sunday night! Well, maybe not fever. America was stricken by Tony Awards nagging-sore-throat-that-goes-away-after-a-cup-of-tea on Sunday Night! Want to know which famous people were given awards to entice people to watch?

[Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones entering the Wall Street-centric Robin Hood Foundation gala at the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center last night, which raised a record $88 million "to feed and clothe the city's destitute." Image via Splash.]

For two decades, Charlie Sheen's personal life has been a battlefield of bitter ex-wives, broken engagements, porn stars, hookers, drug-fueled orgies, and domestic discord. No wonder his prenup—which we revealed yesterday—is so obsessed with minimizing risk.

Is this woman too thin, or are we too fat? Roman Polanski breaks his silence. Jenna and Tito are back together. Jay-Z and Beyonce probably aren't moving to rural Pennsylvania, but you never know. Just another Monday gossip roundup.

They're "laughing and flirting" now—when will they start canoodling? Suri Cruise hits the bottle to mask depression. Jon Gosselin entertains another TV show. Tiger Woods mistress #15. Catherine Zeta-Jones' bones. Sunday's gossip roundup is highly suspicious.

Cameron Douglas, Michael Douglas' wayward son, is due to be sentenced for dealing meth next week, and a host of well-wishers—including Catherine Zeta-Jones and Pat Riley—have written to his judge explaining just how hard his life has been.

David Duchovny getting into a Town Car on the Upper East Side ... James Gandolfini walking into Barneys on Madison Avenue with his son ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment building ... Glenn Close walking her dogs ... Ashlee Simpson showing up at a hair salon in the meatpacking district ... Sharon Osbourne leaving the Peninsula Hotel with her dog in her arms ... Hugh Jackman jogging in the Village ... Leighton Meester filming scenes for Gossip Girl in Brooklyn ... Tori Spelling and Dean Mcdermott leaving an office building in Midtown ... Vanessa Williams on the set of Ugly Betty ... Pete Wentz walking near Union Square ... Stephanie March filming scenes for Law & Order: SVU ... and Beyoncé hanging out with her sister Solange at The Eldridge.

Sofia Coppola walking with a friend in Soho yesterday ... Emma Roberts shopping at Intermix on Prince Street ... Hugh Jackman leaving a gym in the Village ... Ozzy Osbourne getting out of a SUV and later signing copies of his new book at a Barnes and Noble ... Josh Duhamel standing on Fifth Avenue ... Rosie O'Donnell arriving at Good Morning America ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking son James to school in the West Village ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving the Walter Kerr Theatre on West 49th Street ... and Jay-Z and Beyoncé leaving Nobu.

Michael Douglas unlocks the nuclear secret of how he keeps up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Kim Kardashian gets punched in the face. Julianne Moore and Annette Bening make out. Everyone tries to cast the Game Change movie. TGIFriday gossip.

Uma Thurman and son Levon Roan eating pizza on the street ... Hugh Jackman heading home after a trip to the gym ... Diana Ross leaving a building on Fifth Avenue ... JoJo walking into her hotel in Tribeca ... Taylor Momsen hanging out with her mom on the set of Gossip Girl in Queens ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment on the Upper West Side ... and Lady Gaga arriving at Radio City Music Hall last night.

New York Times chairman and publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. doing a little shopping at the Duane Reade on West 72nd Street on Saturday afternoon ... Rachel Weisz walking to a yoga class in SoHo ... Scarlett Johansson leaving her apartment ... Agyness Deyn talking on her cell phone ... Whitney Port arriving at JFK with a friend ... Taylor Momsen shooting scenes for Gossip Girl with Connor Paolo on the Upper East Side ... Denzel Washington arriving at the Late Show with David Letterman ... Mischa Barton on the set of Law & Order: SVU ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment to go shopping ... Ashlee Simpson leaving her apartment ... and Pete Wentz carrying coffee in the East Village.

James Gandolfini walking his dog in Tribeca yesterday ... Bradley Cooper running errands in SoHo ... Ringo Starr walking uptown ... Dr. Mehmet Oz leaving Rockefeller Plaza ... George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis dressed up and headed out for the evening ... Kiefer Sutherland posing for pictures outside the Late Show with David Letterman ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school ... Ke$ha shopping at Sol de Ibiza on Greene Street in SoHo .. Steven Van Zandt walking in Midtown yesterday ... and Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment building.