Julia Allison Leads New York's Women Into Cold, Sexless Future
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A coterie of brave, attractive women in New York City—led by spiritual guru Julia Allison—are pledging to give up sex for upwards of two weeks in a purifying "celibacy cleanse." Like a juice cleanse, but less sperm.
Lord knows we are in no moral position to cast aspersions on the spiritual seriousness of people angling to appear in a New York Post trend story. But let's just take a statistical look at who reporter Mandy Stadtmiller was able to round up as examples of the sexxxy new celibacy trend:
- Musician Katie Jean Arnold, who's been celibate ever since "hooking up with a stranger on the L train platform" two weeks ago.
- Canden Bliss Jackson, Miss Teen Alabama 2007, who turned down an offer of $150k per year from an "international businessman" to be his sex toy. Canden wants to be celibate until marriage. The sexual habits of Christians from Alabama do not count.
- Protofameball Julia Allison, who's declared "an official ‘No Dating, No Sex' stance, at least for the next month, and perhaps beyond that." Take note, Julia Allison paramour hopefuls. [UPDATE: Coincidentally she just left for an ashram for "several weeks." Ha.]
- Colette Komm, who says "I totally sublimate all of my sexual energy into making wedding dresses." No comment.
In short, the women of New York have nothing for you but the cold stare of chastity, at least for the next couple days, or even until this weekend. In the meantime, go gay.