YourTango CEO Andrea Miller is married to an Indian man, and he's great. To help other white ladies meet "incredibly attractive brown people," "innately gracious, social creatures" who "love to dance," she wrote a guide for the Huffington Post.

"How to Date an Indian (Advice for a Non-Indian)" opens by explaining what an Indian is, in case you've never met one:

Most Indians are innately gracious, social creatures; they highly value friends and family and have a calendar filled with various holidays and occasions to celebrate, which they typically do with gusto.

They make up a large proportion of our graduate students — just walk around the campuses of Harvard, Columbia or Stanford or and you will see these incredibly attractive brown people all over the place.

Those endless jubilant dance numbers in Bollywood movies pretty much channel the Indian soul.

With the subtlety of a screaming pop-up ad for porn, Miller launches into seven-point plan for snagging yourself a naan-munching Indian. It includes five pieces of advice about Bollywood movies, one about Indian cooking…

Indians love their food. Probably more than they love dancing.

…and one about learning Hindi, which has a side benefit:

Oh yea, I almost forgot to mention: one more big bonus when it comes to dating an Indian: communication with cabbies. Think I'm kidding? New Yorkers: Just imagine if you could stop a taxi during the 4pm transition time and your date could say, in Hindi, "Hey brother, will you please take us to Spring and 6th?"

I understand that Andrea Miller means no harm. But get a grip of yourself, lady, you sound like a racial fetishist writing a primer for people seeking mail-order brides with from far-flung nations. As the child of an biracial marriage, I implore you: STFU, Andrea Miller. You're embarrassing us. [HuffPo]