They say money can't buy happiness, but Marissa Mayer sure has been trying. And now the Google VP's hedonism/masochism roller coaster has, we hear, earned her a police spanking after a birthday party went too wild.

Celebrating what we can only assume was her 35th birthday late last month, Mayer kept the public address system at her Palo Alto home pumped full blast until 2 am, according to a source in the Silicon Valley catering circuit. This led to numerous visits from the local cops, said the tipster, and party chatter that Mayer's neighbors aren't fans of the Google search product chief.

The neighbors should count their blessings, given how tame Mayer's party stunt was. The birthday girl reportedly set up a miniature golf course throughout her estate and on some of an adjoining parcel. That's fairly neighbor-friendly by the standards of a woman who hired the synth-pop band The Killers to rock out for her wedding party and whose BFF and San Francisco neighbor is known for studding his home disco bacchanals with strippers and porn statues.

Even as Mayer was throwing a too-hot-for-the-cops party for guests, she was seen being cold with the help. Mayer kicked out a member of the catering staff for taking a picture of her cake, said our tipster. It's just the latest example of how Mayer locks down details of her personal life, despite preaching the gospel of info-sharing at her Google day job. Guests at her three-day wedding, for example, were made to hold radio-ID cards at all times and, according to one source, forbidden from taking pictures.

In fairness, Mayer applies some harsh discipline to herself, despite considerable wealth rumored in the hundreds of millions of dollars. She keeps robotically long hours, runs marathons and sleeps as little as possible. So when she spends $60,000 on a lunch, well, that's because she's earned it.

If you know more about Mayer's barely-legal party, we'd love to hear from you.

[Pic: Mayer, by Jolie O'Dell]