Yes, people—even me, sometimes—enjoy making fun of Larry King. But tonight, David Letterman's Late Show Top 10 List—"Reasons Larry King Is Retiring"—was uncharacteristically harsh toward King, with multiple personal jabs at the sexxxy broadcaster. Video inside.

For those unable to watch the video, here's the list.

  • 10) He's 126 years old.
  • 9) High Definition format scared children and the elderly.
  • 8) He didn't mean to retire, forgot he still had a show.
  • 7) Wants to focus on his second career as a barn owl.
  • 6) It's not easy juggling a television show, marriage, and an affair with your wife's sister.
  • 5) Suspender rash.
  • 4) Lately, introduces every guest as "The Lovely Ms. Carol Channing."
  • 3) Couldn't handle the pressure of coming up with questions like "What's your favorite lunch meat?"
  • 2) Well, there is this (plays video of King stumbling over some words).
  • 1) Needs time to plan his divorce.

[Late Show with David Letterman]