Good news: "Shoppers experience the same rush of endorphins when they stumble across a hot sale promotion as they do when they are sexually aroused." So if you shopped during Fashion's Night Out, you have been to an orgy.

Endorphin rushes are also caused by exercise, pain, listening to music, getting poked with needles, and eating chocolate. So really, all that the "shopping triggers endorphins" study proves is that finding a deal is thrilling to humans, and that buying stuff is perhaps stressful. I suppose there's some sort of hunter-gatherer gloss you could put on this, but why focus on that when we could focus on titillating quotes like this:

Bargain-hunting at Saks Fifth Avenue yesterday, Elizabeth Keily agreed that shopping is like a roll in the hay—which isn't always a good thing.

"It's just like sex," said the personal assistant. "Sales feel great for a moment, then you wake up the next morning, see the bill, say, 'What the hell did I just do?' and your emotions go crazy, and that's when reality sets in."

Hah! A lady who thinks shopping is like sex. Next thing you know, women will be making orgasmic noises when they eat Dove chocolate and smell herbal shamp—wait, what? Oh. Carry on. [NYPost, image via Shutterstock]