A new explanation for Bieber's laser tag freak out emerges. Rooney Mara pierces her nipples. Kim Kardashian will never again go naked. Elin Nordegren got $110 million from Tiger? Monday gossip grapples with the bullying crisis afflicting our gay tweens.

  • This is the perfect storm of ripped-from-the-headlines: After yesterday's allegations that Justin Bieber and his bodyguards beat down a 12-year-old at a laser tag center, new details emerged—the 12-year-old might have been a homophobic bully! Apparently the "aggressive kid" cornered Bieber and wouldn't stop shooting him. Our mop-haired hero said, "That's enough," and the laser-wielding interloper replied, "What are you gonna do about it, faggot?" A scuffle ensued. Reports conflict on what happened next, but everyone agrees that the kid's dad went around bragging about being a lawyer, then filed a complaint with the Canadian Mounted Police. (Mountie-loving homophobes? Sounds pretty self-hating! Ba-dum-ching!) If this rendition of events is a PR plant from Bieber's team, it's brilliant. (Gay bullying + litigious dad = absolved of all sins.) Bieber's "It Gets Better" video will probably drop later today. [TMZ, Us Previously, image of Bieber in concert via INF]
  • Elin Nordegren's divorce payout revealed! $110 million, says this one person. [Radar]
  • For her lead role in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Rooney Mara was forced to bleach her eyebrows, dye her hair, and "pierce her nipples for a topless scene." Sexy nipple topless scenes? I thought this movie was about computer nerds. [P6]
  • Carey Mulligan and Shia LaBeouf: Totally over, even if their publicists won't admit it. [P6]
  • Angelina Jolie's Bosnian war movie has been approved to film on location in Bosnia. Their application was at first rejected by Bosnia's Ministry of Culture, but now they're all OK with it, mostly because if Brangelina enters your borders, there is a 50 percent chance they'll stick around long enough to adopt or birth a child, in which case GDP will triple based on paparazzi hotel stays, alone. [ABC]
  • As part of her recovery, Lindsay Lohan is going to fire her mother, who has worked for her since her child star days. "Lindsay feels the financial burden of taking care of her entire family…. Lindsay and Dina don't have a normal mother-and-daughter dynamic because of the length of time that Dina has worked for Lindsay." [Radar]
  • Mel Gibson is making a "cameo comeback" in The Hangover 2. Funnily enough, "the hangover" is an accurate description of his current emotional state. He's going to play a Bangkok tattoo artist. [P6]
  • Seth Green's girlfriend is a geek's wet dream: She's a hot blonde model who is also… a gamer. Here's a video she and her friends made with Seth. She's the naked one with light sabers over her breasts in the first shot of the video. Seth "can just watch her play video games for hours and hours." True love. [People]

  • This week on Dirty Jobs, host Mike Rowe will get his body hair waxed. Apparently he's trying the "dirty job" of being the average American woman? Stay away, Mike, there's no way you can handle the world of pain that is a cobblestone walkway in stiletto shoes. [People]
  • NFL star Terrell Owens is using a millionaire matchmaker to find his next mate, but not the Millionaire Matchmaker, so we'll have to rely on gossipy leaks to find out what happens next. [P6]
  • Having posed naked once, Kim Kardashian will never do it again: "I'm too old for that now… I wanted to get it all out of my system before I turned 30." Glad we could help you with that, Kim. [Us]