Lindsay Lohan could only keep putting up bail for so long. Katy Perry and Russell Brand's wedding was ridiculous. Celine Dion and Matt Damon both had kids (but not together.) Sunday Gossip Roundup is a bundle of joy.

  • Lindsay Lohan is being sent to rehab for three months instead of jail for violating her probation. But during her Friday hearing, her probation officer revealed that she's pretty close to broke, and unable to afford the treatment: "She indicates she can not afford to continue to pay for the treatment program and she needs to work." But doesn't she have that awesome clothing line? According to her probation officer "her clothing line is falling apart because she is not available to monitor the product" (and the clothes are awful.)[NYDN]
  • Details are emerging about Katy Perry and Russell Brand's Weddingageddon yesterday: There was all the fixings of a traditional wedding, save an Indian bride and groom! Two elephants were spotted outside the luxury resort where the two got married named Laxmi and Mala. (The elephants are Russell Brand's cousins, we think?) Traditional singing and Vedic chanting was heard in resort—no word on whether there was any sitar cover of "Hot N Cold." [People]
  • Celine Dion gave birth to twin boys yesterday morning, at 42. Dion's doc revealed that they were "both born with a good amount of hair." So at least she'll be able to tell them apart from her husband. [People]
  • Everyone's having babies! Matt Damon's wife, Luciana, gave birth to a girl. Oh, and Damon happens to have a new movie out. Good timing! [People]
  • But for every baby born, there is one fertility doctor who regrets implanting Nadya Suleman with 12 embryos. Dr. Michael Kamrava said he regrets helping to create Octomom: "I wish I had never done it and it will never happen again." He should embark on an epic quest to hunt her down, Frankenstein style. [People]
  • Halle Berry officially stepped out with her new boyfriend, french actor Olivier Martinez, for the first time at a charity ball in LA. We should send a capsule into space of those two, so that when aliens find it they'll think all humans are that good-looking. [Radar]
  • Paris Hilton's ex, Doug Reinhardt, ran into Paris' parents at the opening of some hotel. They had awkward conversation. "So, I see Paris is... still doing things?" [P6]
  • Russell Simmons has apologized to Courtney Love for calling her a "crackhead" for posting naked pictures of herself on Twitter. He should really be apologizing to crackheads. [P6]

[Image via Splash]