Is Bristol Palin hooking up with Dancing with the Stars' Mark Ballas? Some people think so! Also today: Pink is pregnant, Lil Wayne probably has a new kid, Sandra is dating again, more Mel vs. Oksana news, plus Katy Perry!

  • Hey now! Rumors continue to float around that functioning womb-haver Bristol Palin is falling in love with her Dancing with the Stars partner, Mark Ballas. That's odd! My entire face just started bleeding and I think... Yup, tears are filling up my skull. I'm going to go deal with this, I think, and will just let you contemplate this news bit on your own. [P6]
  • Emails reveal that Mel Gibson's ex-something Oksana Grigorieva may have been having some sort of romance with her bodyguard. Which, uh oh! That completely invalidates the insane verbal abuse and emotional torture suffered at a madman's hands! Lady slutted it up and stepped out via email? Put that whore out! Apparently the bodyguard is in jail for something, and this sex liaison thing was revealed in emails that specifically mention TMZ. So basically this the most heartwarming story of the decade. [TMZ]
  • A grandma somewhere is saying that her eight-year-old grandbaby half belongs to Little Wayne. Mr. Wayne was supposed to do a paternity test back in September, but he was in the clink at the time. Uh oh! New competitor for most heartwarming story? Maybe! The grandma angle adds a special cockle-warming quality to it, don't you think? "In the case of Old Grandma vs. Mister Little Wayne, Judge Maury finds...." A cozy holiday tale indeed. [TMZ]
  • John Mayer just cannot stop talking about private parts. At some concert for something somewhere, he talked about how his manager taught him manners, specifically that one should send a bottle of wine to a woman who's just given birth "...vaginally". Ha, good joke, John. [P6]
  • The singer Pink is with child. Hope you like wine, Pink! Because John Mayer is going to send you a bottle, provided you give birth vaginally. [Showbiz Spy]
  • "Bret Michaels: I Didn't Have an Affair with Miley Cyrus's Mom." So, there you have it. In case you were wondering. I know that's been on everyone's minds lately, so it's probably good that the matter is settled. [People]
  • Wheeee, all the movie stars are friends, guys. Even lonely shitbox Jennifer Aniston loves to hang with the other movie stars and sing karaoke. Wheeeee. [Us]
  • Sandra Bullock is said to be dating a new fellow, her first romantic endeavor since the whole Jesse James fiasco. "Sources" are all "Yeah, she's happy, and she's not dating any more 'bad boys', she's done with that." Good for her. Can we all be done with that? I mean, what does that even mean? "Oh, I want to date that guy who is a bad person. Yes!" Like, aloof and leather jacket-wearing and smolderingly sexy in a slightly dangerous way is one thing, but "bad boy" has sort of begun to just mean "complete asshole." Or, y'know, it's the phrase for a male slut? Like, Tara Reid is a slut, but Jesse James is a bad boy. Jesse James is 41 years old. At the very least he's just a bad man. [Showbiz Spy]
  • Glorious stink-monster Katy Perry was giving a concert at New York City's Roseland Ballroom that was sponsored by Microsoft to help celebrate the launch of some new thing that no one cares about, and she apparently was like "Hey, you guys enjoying the free drinks?" And then everyone was like "Um, there aren't free drinks." And Katy was embarrassed and was like "But Microsoft has so much money!!" And everyone shrugged and continued not caring about anything. Good story? Good story. But we haven't even gotten to the best part: "The pop singer ... went on to perform hits including 'Teenage Dream,' 'Ur So Gay" and 'Last Friday Night,' to which a slideshow of Perry and her pals going crazy on a Friday night played in the background." Oh! Not only did she perform her fucking awesome song about how stupid being gay is, she played another fucking piece of garbage about how she is so cool and then she showed photos of it!!!! It's a good thing Katy Perry isn't absolutely the living worst in the world! Good thing! [P6]
  • Daniel Radcliffe sure does a lot of talking about how much he likes women and kissing women and how Emma Watson is "an animal." I mean he really takes great pain to talk about how he likes "chatting up" girls and boffing dancers. I mean he really talks a lot about it. It's as if he is protesting, perhaps too much?? Perhaps? [People]
  • Stop the awards ceremony! We have a late entry in the Most Heartwarming Story contest. The mother of deceased actress Brittany Murphy is going to write a book all about her daughter, which I'm sure was her dying wish. The best thing is that "a portion" of the proceeds will go to charity. So there's that. I'm feeling pretty happy about this story, guys. [E!]

[Photo via Getty]