George Clooney Involved in Horrifying Italian Sex Murders
Willingly involved! You never know a guy until you do, huh? Also today: A Ouija board movie directed by McG sure is going to be good, Camille Grammer is to retire on Frasier money, and Illeana Douglas news.
George Clooney has signed on to star in The Monster of Florence, an adaptation of a true crime book about a murderer (or murderers!!) who stalked the Italian countryside, killing people who were in mid-coitus. Don't worry, 1995 housewives drooling at E.R., he's not playing the killer. Nor is he playing anyone caught mid-coitus. He's just playing a dude who gets interested in the case, I think. Clooney is also producing the movie with his buddy Grant Heslov, who you might remember as the little squirrely guy in True Lies. [THR]
Liam Neeson will be directed by Joe Carnahan in the thriller The Gray, about a bunch of oil workers who get stranded in the snow and are hunted by a pack of wolves. There really should be more movies about people being eaten by wolves. Remember Wolf, with Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, and James Spader? Man that was a good one. What about The Ghost and the Darkness 2: I'm Lycan It? Get on it, Kilmer! [Deadline]
Sam Rockwell might be joining the cast of Coogan's Trade, about comedian Steve Coogan playing Pogs with his friends. No, actually, it's a "heist comedy" about a robbery of a mob-run poker game, starring Brad Pitt. At present, Steve Coogan is in no way involved, sadly. [Variety]
Talk about hitting the jackpot! Move over, Lost numbers lottery winners, directing genius McG (the original Irish rapping farmer) has been tapped to helm the wonder project Ouija, about saying "yes" in French and German based on the board "game" about ghosts and bracefaced sleepover girls furtively moving their hands toward letters and shrieking. After that, one hopes, he'll be directing the thriller Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board, and then completing the trilogy with Putting Weirdo Margie Bargie's Hand in Warm Water While She Sleeps Then Feeling Kinda Bad When She Actually Does Pee Herself. [THR]
Oh, this is bittersweet. Illeana Douglas has been cast as Lily's sister on Gossip Girl, the one that was played by Krysten Ritter in the egregiously bad 1980s-set spin-off that thankfully never went anywhere. It's sweet because Illeana Douglas is great and should be in all the things, but it's bitter because it's sad that the thing she's in is the fourth season of Gossip Girl, especially because no one really cares about the adults. Can't someone just give her her own show or something? Please? I don't ask much of you, Hollywood. Just this once? [TV Line]
Reality show news! Kathy Griffin has decided to end her Bravo reality series My Life on the D-List, but will do four more stand-up specials for the network. That lady gets around. Still not sure if that's a good thing or not. [People] Comedy monster Chelsea Handler, who is definitely not a good thing, will produce a show for E! (if it doesn't have punctuation in its name, it's not really a TV network) that's like a pop culture-y digest kind of thing, to be hosted by former Jay Leno minstrel intern Ross Matthews and Heather McDonald, a celebrated playwright with whom yours truly once took a masterclass frequent guest on Handler's own pop culture digest program. Pretty soon there won't be any more pop culture to discuss and the shows will just talk about the other shows and then the poison cats will come and eat our faces off and we'll all finally be dead, thank god. [Deadline]
Hahaha. Camille Grammer, the deadly ice Fraggle from Real Stinkbats of Brandon & Brenda's House, will not return to the show for a second season. Probably because she realized that she is a horrible demon ferret who nobody likes for good reason. Or because she's getting $50 million in her Frasier divorce, so who the fuck cares. Either or. [THR]