Single on Valentine's Day? Instead of complaining loudly and publicly or going to some kind of stupid themed singles event, you should take a trip to Malaysia or Russia, where religious authorities are attempting to crack down on the decadent Western celebration of couples being gross with each other.

In some Malaysian states, the Islamic political party PAS is apparently planning a sort of "Valentine's Day massacre of sexy fun":

[PAS youth wing head Nasrudin Hasan Tantawi] said authorities will take action against those caught in the dragnet, under Islamic laws that run in parallel with the civil justice system in Muslim-majority Malaysia.

"There have been campaigns promoting 'no panties' on Valentine's Day and even free hotel room offers for unmarried couples. We must stop such practices here as these are sinful activities," he added.

Well, no, neither of those practices sounds real at all. But, nonetheless, Malaysia is definitely a place to keep in mind if you're looking to not just avoid Valentine's Day, but to actively participate in the repression of romantic pleasure. Which some people no doubt are! No judgment here!

In the Russian province of Belograd, meanwhile, the Russian Orthodox Church is reportedly working in concert with the government to discourage Valentine's Day celebrations:

"The very atmosphere of these holidays does not foster the formation of spiritual and moral values in youth, and holding them primarily benefits commercial organizations," RIA quoted provincial government consultant Grigory Bolotnikov as saying.

(Yes, that is a Russian version of the "Hallmark invented Valentine's Day" argument.)

[Reuters; AFP; image via Shutterstock]