• At the Nerd BBQ fest South by Southwest, some guy tried to take Jake Gyllenhaal's picture at the premier of his nerd thriller Source Code… while he was in the bathroom peeing. Ew, guy! Jake confronted the guy, who eventually deleted it. And of course, it being South By Southwest, the whole ordeal was live-tweeted: Wrote one guy: "Gyllenhaal apparently grabbed the dude mid-photo, threw him against the wall and was like, ‘are we really gonna do this right now?'" Clearly, Jake needs to take a lesson in transparency from James Franco, just tweets pictures of his (maybe) penis before anyone else has a chance to. [HollywoodNews]
  • Details about Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake's split: "They're just two people who realized they wanted different things in life and were headed in different directions." Justin Timberlake wants to star in Oscar nominated movies and bang a lot of chicks, and Jessica Biel wants to… not do that. [People]
  • You know how Charlie Sheen announced his live comedy show a few days ago: "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option?" Well, tickets are sold out! Sheen Tweeted: "Fastball; Detroit/Chicago sold out in minutes... Thanks to Sheen's Cadre..! #WINNING c." So, now comes Charlie Sheen's career as a stand up comedian. We're guessing his live show is going to have more in common with Gallagher than Seinfeld. [E!]
  • Donald Trump says he warned Brooke Mueller's mom not to let her marry Charlie Sheen. 'You cannot let your daughter marry Charlie Sheen… Don't let your daughter marry this guy. It's the wrong guy.' And she was impressed with Charlie Sheen . . . Isn't it wonderful, and isn't it great, and they had a beautiful wedding, and it's a disaster. So she told me, 'I made a mistake.' She made a mistake, and she did make a mistake."[P6]
  • Celebrity Apprentice star and former Survivor contestant Richard Hatch is going back to jail, after he failed to pay $2 million in taxes; he'd already been in jail for three years for tax evasion! Which reminds me: Tax day's coming up. ugh. Almost makes seem three years in prison seem like a bargain. [US]
  • A warrant has been issued for gritty Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill actor Michael Masden. He owes $570,000 in child support. This should end well. [Popeater]

[Image via Splash]