Researchers, finally getting on top of the really important questions like "what foods make people horny," have examined hundreds of previous studies and come up with a list of real, scientifically-proven aphrodisiacs. And chocolate is not one!

According to the Guelph University research team, the following consumables "improve human sexual function":

  • Panax ginseng
  • Saffron
  • Yohimbine, "a natural chemical from yohimbe trees in West Africa"

While these foods apparently "increase sexual desire":

  • Muira puama, "a flowering plant found in Brazil"
  • Maca root, "a mustard plant in the Andes"
  • Chocolate

Despite its link to increased sexual desire, the Telegraph article notes confusingly, "chocolate was not linked to sexual arousal or satisfaction." But, whatever, you are going to eat chocolate regardless of its effect on your, you know, situation, so just throw in some yohimbine and maca root and you will be good to go.

[Telegraph]