Mickey Rourke takes back a compliment and trashes his movies. Lindsay Lohan brags about her mafia connections. David Arquette fails to seduce his wife at Disney World. Thursday gossip is full of failure.

  • Asked about calling Megan Fox one of the best actresses of all time, Mickey Rourke said what he meant was one of the best actresses of all time that he has worked with. Then, according a red carpet reporter, he "smirk[ed]." Basically, he's trying to tell Evan Rachel Wood she sucks. The movie he made with Megan was "not very good," whereas the movie he made with 50 Cent was "really bad," "terrible," and he only agreed to be in it "for the money." [NYM, image via Getty]
  • Reese Witherspoon says Robert Pattinson had a cold when he shot the sex scene in Water for Elephants: "He was literally snorting and snotting through every second of it—and it was not appealing. I'm talking green, infectious, disgusting." Ew. [InTouch]
  • Speaking of Sparklepants Pattinson, he bought vampire lover Kristen Stewart a $17,000 antique diamond promise ring. Not that kind of promise ring that means "no sex," though. The kind that means "engagement ring later." [HollywoodLife]
  • Amanda Seyfried collects taxidermied animals, and recently spent $2,750 on a foal. This would be creepy, but hipster taxidermy is already a well-documented (if peculiar) trend, so I'm giving this a score of 2.5 meh-s on the shocking celebrity confession scale. [Starpulse]
  • Just when you thought Lindsay Lohan's flirtation with the Gottis couldn't get trashier, she says they have a "family connection" because "my dad was in jail with the grandfather." Just give her the Victoria Gotti role, already, before she elopes with one of Vicki's sons or something. [P6]
  • Virtually no new information about Catherine Zeta-Jones, who announced yesterday that she had checked into mental hospital for bipolar II disorder, other than that the "stress of the past year" and her husband's brush with death may have been a trigger. [People]
  • A match made in tween fantasy heaven: Bonnie Wright, the little red-haired girl from Harry Potter, is engaged to Jamie Campbell Brown, who plays a killer vampire in Twilight. [E!]
  • David Arquette went on Howard Stern's show and confessed that he tried—and failed—to seduce wife Courteney Cox at Disney World: "Listen, I tried to fuck her, and she doesn't even want me. Oh, that's probably something I shouldn't have said." Like his attempts to be sexy, David Arquette's appearances on The Howard Stern show always end in tragicomedy. [Us]
  • Adele likes to look at other celebrities' assets: "I love seeing Lady Gaga's boobs and bum. I love seeing Katy Perry's boobs and bum. Love it." Really wish the quote stopped there, because it'd be a pretty accurate characterization of popular fascination with those two ladies. But alas, Adele actually had a point, and a reasonable one at that: "But that's not what my music is about. I don't make music for eyes. I make music for ears." [RollingStone]
  • A real-life warlock has announced that he is forgiving Charlie Sheen for smearing the good name of warlocks everywhere. Phew. [TMZ]