International man of idiocy (and occasionally brilliant filmmaking) Lars von Trier is at Cannes promoting his new movie Melancholia, and at a recent press conference the Danish director went off the rails with a weird diatribe about his Nazi sympathies.

Here's a little transcript of what he said, from Deadline:

"For a long time I was a Jew and I was happy to be a Jew, then I met Susanne Bier [fellow Danish director and this year's Oscar winner for Best Foreign Language Film] and I wasn't so happy. But then I found out I was actually a Nazi. My family was German. That also gave me pleasure. What can I say? I understand Hitler. I sympathize with him a bit. I don't mean I'm in favor of World War II and I'm not against Jews, not even Susanne Bier. In fact I'm very much in favor of them. All Jews. Well, Israel is a pain in the ass [pause] ... How can I get out of this sentence? OK, I'm a Nazi."

Ohhh brother. Von Trier is a provocateur and is probably just trying to get some attention for his movie and for himself, but come on, dude. Nazis? It's not even shocking, it's just stupid and worn-out. Here in America you'd see, if you'd only come and visit, that we've been throwing around that particular N-word for a couple years now and the trend has gotten old. You want to really shock people? Tell them you're a Moonie. The whole Nazi thing is played out.

So, pretty lame, Von Trier. A sad (but successful!) stab at attention. Or, y'know, maybe Lars von Trier really is a Nazi, which wouldn't really surprise anyone because Lars von Trier is a jerk.

[Photo via Getty]