Johnny Depp Has Too Many Hats
Scandalous news comes today that Johnny Depp, world-renowned Hat Person of the Year, has too many hats. It seems the National Enquirer (so here's your grain of salt) is reporting that Depp's long-time lover Vanessa Paradis has ordered him to get rid of some of the many, many hats he owns. There are too many hats!
A "source" tells the Enquirer that there are two whole rooms in the couple's Paris apartment that are filled to the brim (get it, brim?) with hats. So she wants him to sort through them and pick only the hats he really loves. The rest have to go. But, he's Hat Person of the Year! (Is that a person made of hats? Beware the Hat People.) I would expect the Hat Person of the Year to have a lot of hats. Why can't Ms. Paradis understand this? She knew what she was getting into when she hooked up with Depp. She was getting into hats. Lots and lots of hats.
Anyway, I'm now very curious to see who will be named next year's coveted Headwear Association Hat Person of the Year. I vote Princess Beatrice, obviously. And don't worry, I will be live blogging the awards ceremony! Goooo hats!
