Finally, the political-daughter-turned-memoirist smackdown we've been waiting for: Bristol Palin is taking on Meghan McCain.

While promoting memoir Dirty Sexy Politics, Meghan lamented Bristol's effect on her "self-esteem", slammed Bristol's family, and dissed reality TV. Now Bristol's promoting her memoir, and she's striking back. ABC News reports that America's most successful unsuccessful abstinence advocate thinks Meghan McCain is a high-maintenance, backstabbing brat:

Palin writes that the first time she met the 26-year-old daughter of Sen. John McCain, she "ignored us during the entire visit." This was just before Senator McCain introduced Sarah Palin as his running mate. Palin adds that she "had a sneaking suspicion I might need to watch my back."

"Every time we saw Meghan, she seemed to be constantly checking us out, comparing my family to hers and complaining," she writes. "Oh the complaining."

"I'd never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup," Palin writes.

Bristol has kinder words for Cindy McCain, describing her "like a queen" and "like royalty." But she got confused when Cindy offered to be the godmother of her unborn child: "I had just met her and I wondered why she wanted any type of guardianship over my child." Maybe Cindy was trying to rescue a needy infant from a lifetime of squalor? She has a reputation for charity.

Anyway, Meghan has yet to tweet about Bristol. Maybe she's saving her outrage for an opinion column? She can't not respond—flying off the handle at every slight is Meghan's greatest talent. Which, come to think of it, is downright Palinesque.

Fight! Fight! Fight! And don't take "mutually assured destruction" off the table! [ABC News, images via Getty]

Update: Meghan responded by tweeting the video at left.