Although USA Today dedicates the bulk of its reporting resources to angels and infographic porn, the paper is also committed to being America's primary source of news about What Ladies Are Doing. The answer? Partying&mdashif you know what we mean.

"It's showing the world that 40 isn't what it used to look like. 'Look at me. I have so much more life to live and I'm very vibrant and successful,' instead of crying in the corner," she says.

That's right: America's 40 year-old women are all grimly marching out into the world to party the fuck down, lest they start weeping in the nearest available private space. Just listen to this cavalcade of debauchery that 40 year-old women across the nation are thinking about just below their "good girl" facades:

  • "It could be half of our life is over, so we want to celebrate."
  • "They say 40 is the new 30, but to me, it's 40 and now you're approaching 50."
  • "[We] can be a little self-indulgent the way we used to be when we were 16 years old and maybe forget for two weeks that we are 40."

Woooooooooooo! Woooooooooooo!

Woo.

[USA Today. Photo: Stacey Huggins/ Flickr]