How about that economy, amirite? Yesterday it's crashing to hell, and then today there's a decent jobs report and rather than crashing some more, the markets simply "gyrated," which is considered preferable.

So to balance out the good news of those extra handful of people getting employed and temporarily staving off a double dip recession, please keep this in mind: The average length of unemployment in America now stands at 40.4 weeks, the longest time ever recorded. So for those unlucky bastards who don't have jobs, times have never been worse!

But that's only 14 million people.

[Photo: AP]