President Obama is not traveling around the Midwest in any old jalopy with "JOBS" or "AMERICA" splashed on the side. He's riding in a new pitch-black armored $1 million Secret Service bus. Why is he trying to scare all the people away?

The Secret Service has been asking for new buses for some time, and Obama's new Imperial Cruiser is one of two newly commissioned monstrosities, each one "bristling with secret communications technology." What sort of technologies, you ask? It's secret! (Probably just an HDTV with premium movie channel subscriptions.)

While some people will whine about Obama's Extravagant Taxpayer-funded Million Dollar Luxury Bus, the twin purchases do come with their own political inoculation: The Republican nominee for president will get to ride the other one. That way, they can divvy up the long list of Rebel bases that need to be destroyed.

[Image via AP]