A show about Chicago's famous Playboy Club debuted last night and it was... not good. Also today: A movie heads to Broadway, Disney gets a whole new land, and Charlie Sheen is a hit.

  • Oh dear. Someone go make sure Hef's still breathing. Last night's premiere of the deeply embarrassing Mad Men ripoff The Playboy Club earned an anemic 1.6 rating, with only 5 million viewers (me included!) tuning in. Oooops. I mean, that stinks for everyone involved and all, but seriously what a gut-bustingly dumb show that was. Eddie Cibrian's Don Draper impression was so horrifically silly and mortifying. And I'm sorry, but network TV is never a place for sexy. There is so little deliberate sexy that works on network television. Accidental, or tangential sexy, like Taylor Kitsch sexy, sure. But no really direct like "Ooooo look how sexyyyy" ever works on network TV. That said, I am a little curious to see how the secret gays plotline develops, but that's about it. Though I kind of doubt the show will be around long enough to see it progress much more. [THR]
  • Hm. Barry Levinson has announced that he's doing a Broadway musical version of his classic movie Diner and that, like so many slightly aging musicians before her, Sheryl Crow has agreed to write the score. I think this is a great idea! I mean, it's a movie, that's being turned into a musical. Why didn't someone think of this before?? Holy smokes, think of all the movies they could turn into musicals! Boy, what a whole new world of possibility has opened up. A movie... that becomes a musical. I mean it's incredible. What wonders will showbiz come up with next? [Deadline]
  • Starting in 2013, a whopping four years after the dang movie came out, Walt Disney World will begin construction on a whole "land" based on the movie Avatar, an indie film about the troubling underground world of dragon rape. Oh goodie! Avatar rides! Everyone loves and remembers Avatar. Totally seeped into the culture in a big way, that one. I can't wait to do all those Avatar things, like have hair sex with a giant blue meerkat and eat glowbugs or whatever they eat and smoke cigarettes with Sigourney Weaver. I can't wait to spend all my Na'vi Bucks™ on "Unobtainium Ice Cream" and "frosted hair dildos." It's just going to be so much fun. Everyone totally remembers everything about that movie and is really excited for the sequels, so this idea makes total sense. "Come experience what Jake felt as we smash your legs and then strap you to an old Virtual Boy and push you down the stairs! Only at Disney's Avatar Land, based on a movie Disney had nothing to do with. Coming 2014!" So excited. [THR]
  • Remember the Hot Girl from Adventureland (if you saw Adventureland) who was believable because she was hot but not like completely unrealistic hot and plus she was kind of a bitch but not that much of a bitch because no one really ever is in real life? She was a good character played by Margarita Levieva (she used to be a rhythmic gymnast for the Russians!) and now Ms. Levieva has been cast on that Emily van Camp joint Revenge. She's described as playing "a temptress," so she's still a resident of Prettypout Ghetto, but maybe she'll get out of there someday! Anyway, congrats lady. And go rent Adventureland, friends. It's a good little movie. [EW]
  • Hilariously named actor Cam Gigandet (pronounced zhe-GAHN-day, I believe) has been cast as the lead on a new TNT series. The show is called Gateway but was once called Tin Star, neither of which are good titles. It's a Western about a Colorado town in the 1880s where three brothers do battle with an evil cattle baron. Presumably Gigandet would play one of the cattle. [Deadline]
  • To come full circle, we've more ratings news. 6.4 million people tuned into last night's Charlie Sheen Roast, making it Comedy Central's highest-rated roast ever. Wow, whatta roast! It's the top'a the roasts. Another grand ol' roast. Who doesn't love a roast? "Haha, roasted!" you all say when you're home watching your roasts. Highest roast ever? That's gotta be a pretty good roast. Did anyone see it? Did Charlie get good and roasted? I bet they roasted him like crazy. Totally roasted, brutha. You've been ROAST'D. Roasts! They're the best. [THR]