Jay-Z confirms your suspicions about Kanye West. Brad Pitt wants to quit acting in "three years." Demi Lovato goes to a wedding and catches the bouquet. Lindsay Lohan returns to the nightlife scene. Monday gossip gets upstaged.

  • Jay-Z confirms that Kanye West is the obsessive-compulsive control freak you always assumed he was: "I think he just can't help himself. He puts so much into everything, and he's like, ‘You have to treat it like I treat it.' It drives you crazy sometimes—like when you've put seventy-five versions of a snare on one song and he's like, ‘No!' and you're like, ‘Come on, man.'" [GQ, Celebitchy, image via Getty]
  • In other Jay-Z news, "When Jay-Z tastes something really good, it's like he almost gets mad at it for a second; the first time he says, 'Are you serious right now?' after consuming a Blue Point oyster, I'm briefly convinced I've said something to offend him." If I was interviewing Jay-Z and he scrunched up his face and screamed that, I would probably soil myself. [GQ]
  • 19-year-old Demi Lovato went to a wedding and caught the bouquet. This can only end in disaster, particularly since boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama—appointed steward of all oversexed Disney starlets with daddy issues—was a groomsman at the same wedding. [Us]

Speaking of oversexed Disney starlets with daddy issues, career criminal Lindsay Lohan is back on the town. Apparently this outfit is considered "almost angelic"? Grading LiLo on a curve, eh? [Daily Mail]

  • Brad Pitt will quit acting in "three years," then focus on producing. As for babies, "You know, I don't know that we're finished. I don't know yet. I don't know." If your wife looked like Angelina, you'd want to procreate with her repeatedly and watch her hold babies and kittens all the time, too. Also, they haven't adopted a single baby from the Indian subcontinent or Antarctica yet. Gotta keep going if they want a global baby BINGO. [E!]
  • Why did Pippa Middleton's boyfriend dump her? "Because her money wasn't old enough." England is weird. [Celebitchy]
  • Kendall Jenner got a Range Rover for her sweet 16. Also, a reality TV contract to sign in her own blood, which evil sea witch Kris Jenner then locked in the cabinet where she keeps her children's souls. [Us]

As a preschooler, Dakota Fanning couldn't get roles because her hair was too thin: "I had really short, wispy hair, and the girls with perfect long, straight hair with bangs and a butterfly clip would always get picked." Expect Jessica Simpson to announce a new line of toddler hair extensions tomorrow. [W]

  • Meanwhile, Elle Fanning is fashion-crazed and teenager-y: "When I found out that I was invited to the Chanel show—that was the loudest I've ever screamed in my life. That was the best day of my life. It was my first fashion show, and I know every model by name. I go on Style.com and look at all the shows. It was just the best experience ever!" [W]
  • Viola Davis on baby daughter Genesis: "She's awesome. I mean, I know every parent says their child is awesome, but she's awesome." [Access Hollywood]

Charlize Theron says Kristen Stewart is special, because she isn't a Xanax-addicted fame-addled shell of a person: "There's this really lovely quality about her that just doesn't give a f–k. A lot of people say they don't, but then they go home and cry and pop a Xanax. Kristen actually doesn't give a f–k. That's what's so refreshing about her. I'm looking forward to killing her and taking her beauty." That last sentence refers either to the ritual sacrifice of starlets that Hollywood elders use to maintain their youth. (Or to forthcoming movie Snow White and the Huntsman, in which Kristen plays Snow White and Charlize plays the evil queen.) [Vogue]