As Sean Penn prepares to wed chilly ray of sunshine Charlize Theron, he took a moment to talk to Esquire about the previous Mrs. Penns, who are apparently doing okay and not great, respectively.

We've just received word of an update in the ongoing SoulCycle-based feud between actresses Tia Mowry and Charlize Theron: an unnamed source spoke to E! News regarding the claim that Theron attempted to have Mowry banned from SoulCycle forever, saying, "this is totally fabricated and completely not true." More as this story develops.

While in the UK promoting her role in Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Charlize Theron said she thinks that the lengths at which reporters go to cover her private life is comparable to being raped.

Millions (millions) of tourists visit New York City every year. And every day New Yorkers must make the shrewd calculation to either acknowledge or direct tourists on their paths to Times Square and beyond, or to straight up ignore them.

Former Wicked Queen Charlize Theron is finally returning to SNL with the Black Keys tonight. It's been 13 years and she is a very weird, funny lady, so she should get along great with this year's weird, funny cast. Come on over to Morning After and we can watch it together (NBC 11:30/10:30c).

Ridley Scott's Prometheus makes a huge production of not having very much to say. Either that or it just doesn't say it very well. It bestows itself with the impossible task of exploring the meaning of life, faith and the inextricable bond of creation and destruction – a storytelling endeavor of sci-fi proportions in itself.

Snow White & the Huntsman has several cool tricks up its ornately designed sleeve, but the coolest one of all is its focus on its wicked queen's existential crisis. That is, after all, what's always driven the action of this oft- and increasingly told tale – the aging queen's savage jealousy of younger beauty is what forces Snow White away from her rightful castle, into the cabin of seven dwarves. It's what almost kills our protagnoist and it's what unites her with her true love, a prince.

When asked to name some things Charlize Theron had as a child, you might say "exposure to apartheid," "an abusive, alcoholic father," or "an extensive knowledge of classical ballet techniques."

Michael Fassbender's Penis had a breakout 2011 thanks to its subdued but nuanced work in Shame, which was hailed by critics and his acting peers as a seminal performance. George Clooney was the first to give Fassbender's Penis high marks during the Golden Globes, but Charlize Theron also took time during the LA Human Rights Gala to say what a thrill it was to work in the presence of such a formidable talent:

Pippa Middleton steps out with two, yes two, boys at once. J.Lo had a lovely holiday with her new hunk. Jennifer Aniston and her beau nearly ran into Brad Pitt. Justin Bieber's fake babymomma's ex boyfriend is causing drama. Monday's gossip needs relationship advice.

Jay-Z confirms your suspicions about Kanye West. Brad Pitt wants to quit acting in "three years." Demi Lovato goes to a wedding and catches the bouquet. Lindsay Lohan returns to the nightlife scene. Monday gossip gets upstaged.

The big battle of the Snow White movies is brewing and it looks like Snow White and the Huntsman is throwing the first punch since its trailer came out today. Julia Roberts' evil queen can't be nearly as good as Charlize Theron's!

Here's a trailer for Young Adult, the new movie from Juno collaborators Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman. Do those names send chills through your spine? Good ones, or bad ones?

Unfortunately America's real national pastime will soon be gone. Also today: lots of people take cold helpings of Revenge, Roseanne Barr gets some bad news, and Charlize Theron gets brutal.

Is a Rihanna-J. Cole sex tape about to come out? Does Lindsay Lohan really think she is "just like Marilyn" Monroe? Christina Aguilera freaks over a child abuse rumor. Lady Gaga starts a fashion line with her sister. Thursday gossip has lecherous intents.

This is an important question that Hollywood is scrambling to answer, fairy tale style. Also today: Carrie-Anne Moss moves to the small screen, Torchwood news for you spazzes, and Seth MacFarlane's movie is assembling its cast.

[Charlize Theron leaving a restaurant on the Upper East Side yesterday. Photo via Bauer-Griffin]

Kanye West's giant penis did not put a baby in Kim. Kelsey Grammer will marry his mistress. Lil' Wayne's daughter gets diamonds for turning twelve. Demi Lovato hasn't apologized for punching her back-up dancer. Tuesday gossip is momentous.

[Charlize Theron narrowly avoids getting hit by a backing up van in New York. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

To prove she is a natural human, an aging actress must post flawed pictures online. Montana Fishburne faces criminal charges for beating up her boyfriend's ex. Kelsey Grammer's flight attendant girlfriend is pregnant. Thursday gossip contains the circle of life.