Former Arizona gubernatorial candidate Cary Dolego—who, from a branding standpoint, is kind of like the Herman Cain of the Green Party right now—sold everything he owned to travel to the Ukraine and find a bride. He did not find her!

Instead, Colego ended up homeless, penniless, and afflicted by pneumonia after falling for an online dating scam. Some social workers found Colego on the streets acting "strangely"—or, considering how one of the social workers described his behavior ("[h]e talks a lot and gestures a lot"), like a stereotypical New Yorker—and took him to a shelter where he wore his "distinctly Russian hat" and talked crazy talk about still loving his online woman "dearly" as he recuperated.

That online woman, a 29-year-old doctor named Yulia, wasn't actually the woman Colego "fell in love" with online, because someone else had been communicating with him after breaking into her online dating profile. The real Yulia told the Sydney Morning Herald that, after learning about Colego's "ugly" ordeal, she generously paid him a visit at the hospital. And that's when things got really weird:

"I went to the hospital and he started hugging me: 'Oh Yulia, oh Yulia!' I was shocked," she said. "He thought we were getting married."

Mr Dolego confirmed that she visited him and he believed they could still be together.

"We seemed to hit it off," he said. "She wants to continue with the relationship."

Yulia has a different take.

"He is not really my type," she said.

Now the U.S. Embassy is loaning him some money so he can bring his sickly butt back to the U.S.—an act of governmental generosity that is surely being cursed on some Tea Party Internet forum somewhere. Honestly, we might have to go with Team Tea on this one, given that Colego says he'd like to travel back to the Ukraine someday because this: "I need a special lady, a Ukrainian lady so that we can start a life together." No dude, you need a therapist and a clue.

You know you're on the wrong path when you make Jan Brewer look like a sensible option.

[Fox News, Sydney Morning Herald]