The cover story of this week's Us Weekly that was planted by a "source close to Kim" that is certainly not anyone with the last name Kardashian, reports that Kris Humphries was an awful husband who called Kim mean names.

Apparently he talked about her "fat ass" and would rather go out partying than stay home with Kim who doesn't drink and likes to go to bed early. Man, this is such a press release. Here is the best part: "He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn't last." That wasn't Kris, that was everyone in the whole entire world. Guess you're going to have to divorce reality, Kim. Oops. Too late.

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