Vanity Fair contributor and Rice University history professor Douglas Brinkley was testifying before the House Natural Resources Committee last week about the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. When Rep. Don Young, a raving lunatic from Alaska, mistakenly referred to Brinkley as "Mr. Rice" and called his pro-wildlife testimony "garbage," Brinkley let his contempt flow freely: "It's Dr. Brinkley. Rice is a university. I know you went to Yuba College and couldn't graduate."

Then it immediately turned into a fight you had with your dad when you were 13:

Young: I'll call you anything I want to call you while you sit in that chair. You just be quiet.

Brinkley: You don't own me. I pay your salary.

Young: I don't own you, but I tell you right now—

And then, sadly, chairman Doc Hastings got between the two men, telling Brinkley to calm down since we all make "foo paws" now and again.

Point of order: According to Young's House biography, he did earn an associate degree from Yuba Junior College in 1952, before graduating from Chico State in 1958. So there.