Rick Perry Reveals Existence of the Secret Nation of 'Solynda'
While campaigning in Iowa, secessionist prime minister of Texas Rick Perry leaked some classified intelligence when he told his audience of hecklers and hog farmers that, for an unknown period of time, the U.S. has been secretly funding "the country Solynda."
If you don't recall your seventh grade geography teacher ever informing you of Solynda, it's because he or she was never informed about it, either. For decades, the U.S. government has strenuously covered up the existence of the tiny nation—rumored to be located somewhere within the great state of California—by refusing to note it on maps, banning the publication of all Solynda-related travel guides, maintaining a no-fly zone in and around the area to prevent spies from surveilling the goings-on there, and taking other extreme measures. Meanwhile, the feds have secretly funneled hundreds of millions of dollars to Solynda in exchange for its "high-tech solar energy panels." Earlier this year, Solynda went bankrupt.
It's not clear why Perry would know about Solynda, except that as Texas prime minister he has probably met with Solyndan diplomats to discuss forming an Alliance of Secret American Nations or met with Solyndan leaders during trade negotiations.