Kid Disciplined for Having an Insanely Detailed Matt Bonner Haircut; Design Looks like Chuck Norris Anyway
Patrick Gonzalez, a middle schooler from San Antonio was threatened with an in-school suspension after coming to class with his hair full of beautiful artwork earlier this week.
The gentlemen depicted in Patrick's hair is Matt Bonner, the (red-headed) Center for the San Antonio Spurs basketball team.
But, wowowow, doesn't it look way more like Chuck Norris? He's always showing up in places you'd never expect him (for example: haircuts depicting other people). Just like the Virgin Mary.
UPDATE: Several of you have pointed out it also looks like Vincent van Gogh. This is absolutely correct, for the haircut shows many things: things that are, things that were, and some things that have not yet come to pass.
Patrick was told to shave off the design, which seems extra cruel considering the fine detail work it obviously entailed, or face further disciplinary action.
His mom told local TV station KABB she didn't understand why school officials were making such a fuss, as they had granted her permission to get him the haircut earlier in the week. (That's weird, right?)
School district officials maintain that the haircut was never given the all-clear, though they do acknowledge Gonzalez came to them and spoke about it. (That's also weird, right?)
Aubrey Chancellor, a spokesperson for the district, hastened to add the principal's decision was not the result of an anti-Spurs agenda:
"Whether it's the Spurs or whether it's the Cowboys, anything people obviously support, it doesn't matter."
According to reporter Grace White's Twitter feed, Matt Bonner was fully supportive of his redheaded blood brother's foray into the world of experimental coiffure design, saying, to Patrick, "Keep working on your game and maybe I'll shave you into the back of my head."
Though, of course, no person-depicting haircut will ever come close to the level of vivid imagery and shading Patrick's exhibited.
A truly masterful display of craftsmanship, lost, now, to the ages. (He shaved it off so he could go back to class.)
The nicest part of the story is that Bonner even invited the kid to attend the Spurs play-off game held yesterday, as his special guest.
Now what's Chuck Norris going to do for him?
