Don't Read Politico, Urge Politico Editors
Megalomaniacal supervillain Jim VandeHei and emotionally hobbled robo-reporter Mike Allen, both of Politico, have penned a rugged endorsement of Mitt Romney's chief grievance today, agreeing with his advisors that the press corps is busy "scaring up stories to undermine the introduction of Mitt Romney to the general election audience." We need more serious, measured, balanced, non-inflammatory reporting on both candidates, said the men responsible for Politico, a web site that catalogs what political flacks' "dietary dossiers."
The problem, VandeHei and Allen argue, is that the Washington Post and New York Times are being mean to Romney by writing about his teen bullying and his wife's love of dressage horses while ignoring Barack Hussein Obama's college drug smoking. And other stuff. Notwithstanding that this is all demonstrably false, one thing struck me about VandeHei and Allen's critique: At 5,500 words, they argue, the Post's bullying story was "invested with far more significance than it merited, and is more voyeuristic than relevant to assessing Romney's readiness for office."
OH SO WE'RE ONLY WRITING ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE RELEVANT TO ASSESSING A CANDIDATE'S READINESS FOR OFFICE, ARE WE NOW, POLITICO?
Here is a list of stories Politico has published soberly assessing Barack Obama's readiness for office:
- A 1,300-word story on how Obama's use of "Black English" when addressing African-American audiences constitutes "dog-whistle politics."
- A 700-word story on how Obama is "too 'cool' and detached to fully grasp the public anxiety over mounting job losses and economic worries" because he laughed during a 60 Minutes interview.
- A 500-word story on how BARACK OBAMA USES A TELEPROMPTER.
- A 700-word story on how Obama hates retarded people because he mentioned the Special Olympics in a joke.
- A story wondering what U.S. President Barack Obama will do on the 9/11 anniversary, an observance for which he has "few options" BECAUSE HE HATES AMERICA.
- Obama's supporters think Republicans are racist, according to this press release we got from the GOP.
- The White House once sent an email to a guy.
- Roger Ailes is going to run for president.
- Obama is in thrall to fatcat college professors.
- Obama seeks to undermine his political enemies, scandalously, by meeting and talking about them.
- A dispatch on how Obama "flashed irritation" when a reporter asked him a question ("flashed irritation" means didn't answer).
- Obama touches people, with his hands. Look out!
No cheap voyeurism there. Substance over sensation! Slavery is Freedom! Down with Drudge!
Image via AP.