Katherine Jackson is back to implying her children are kidnappers.

TMZ is reporting that the Jackson family matriarch filed a sworn declaration in court on Tuesday (as part of her bid to be reinstated as her grandkids' permanent guardian) alleging she was tricked into going to Arizona by her children.

The document reportedly claims that Katherine had been scheduled to travel by car to New Mexico to see her sons, Jackie, Tito, Jermaine and Marlon perform in Albuquerque on July 17th. On July 14th, a doctor came to Katherine's Calabasas home and advised her it would be better to travel by plane. Katherine consented.

However, rather than bringing Katherine to New Mexico, the plane flew to Tuscon, Arizona. Upon landing, Katherine learned her children had booked her a stay at a luxury resort famed for its electric rainbow lightning shows, in an attempt to ease her high blood pressure.

Katherine reportedly claims in the document that her phone and iPad were taken from her upon entering the resort, and that her in-room phone was disconnected.

Her television was allegedly shut off too, officially making this well-intentioned kidnapping The Worst Vacation Ever.

TMZ writes that, while at the resort, Katherine was not aware she had been reported missing. When she asked asked about her grandkids, she reportedly was told "they were fine."

Now, it seems, she's angry at her kid[napper]s for deceiving her:

"At the time, I trusted the people I was with to be honest with me."

From these details, it sounds like Katherine's children just severely botched a classic "force Mom to relax by any means necessary" plan. Like when you're so excited at age 7 to make your mom breakfast in bed that you wake her up at dawn to feed her the mushy cereal you prepared the night before and then you kidnap her.

However, while the Mystery of the Missing Mam-Mam may have been solved, the wild accusations of nefarious plotting continue to stack up.

Here's one: Last Friday, Randy Jackson (but not Randy Jackson) wrote on Twitter that the executors of Michael Jackson's estate were trying to kill his mother.

"It is my fear and belief, that they are trying to take my mother's life."

Meanwhile, Randy's brother Jermaine also turned to TwitLonger (the family's preferred mode of correspondance) to formally rescind his signature from the letter originally accusing the executors of misconduct. However, in a classic "sorry I'm not sorry" move, he also added that he still stands by everything the letter said.

Last week, Tito Jackson also publicly rescinded his signature from the letter.

Pretty soon, the letter will have officially been signed by no one, and we will all have to wonder how it came to be in the first place.

[TMZ // Images via Getty]