'Can You Tell Us What a Douche Is?': Lawyer Live-Tweets Obscenity Trial Over Fisting Porn
As I write this, British defense lawyer Myles Jackman is trying an obscenity case in the UK. His client has been charged with possession of "extreme pornography"—in this case, fisting porn. And he's live-tweeting the whole thing. A very special Follow Friday.
You may have been made familiar with the fisting fetish, which entails sticking an entire hand in an orifice, by the legendary internet meme Goatse, or mommy porn novel 50 Shades of Grey. Jackman's client Simon Walsh, a former politician and barrister, is being charged with possession of "extreme pornography," after police found fisting porn on his computer. Extreme pornography is outlawed in the UK and could lead to a three-year prison sentence, according to a post on Jackman's blog.
The trial has become something of a media sensation in Britain, what with the free speech implications, even sparking its own hashtag, #porntrial. Jackman is also the "first English lawyer allowed to tweet a trial from court," according to New Statesmen columnist David Allen Green. You might as well start off with a bang!
Luckily we live in America, where fisting is not only legal (mostly) it's taught in our high schools these days. (I mean, I assume it is? I don't know. I haven't been in high school for a while.) So we can just sit back and gawk at Jackman's tweets. The case hinges in part on whether fisting falls under the "extreme pornography" criteria of depicting "an act which results, or is likely to result, in serious injury to a person's anus, breasts or genitals." So it's actually a pretty educational look at the limits of the human anus: ("Datta" is a physician and expert witness. "CPS" is the prosecution.)
CPS - Poppers might allow anus to accomodate a fist but it might go higher up and cause damage? Datta - Absolutely, absolutely.
#PornTrial— Myles Jackman (@ObscenityLawyer) August 3, 2012
CPS - Patient two went to an "Organised weekend fisting circuit party".
#PornTrial— Myles Jackman (@ObscenityLawyer) August 3, 2012
DEF - (Referring to first picture) Hand insertion more 15cm than 30cm? Datta - I'd say 30cm.
#PornTrial— Myles Jackman (@ObscenityLawyer) August 3, 2012
CPS - Do you have experience of foreign bodies being inserted into the anus? Datta - Last 12 months, I have operated on 5 people.
#PornTrial— Myles Jackman (@ObscenityLawyer) August 3, 2012
CPS - what were foreign bodies? Datta - 5cm by 18cm candle removed from bowel. Also a "smooth" pebble the size of an adult fist.
#PornTrial— Myles Jackman (@ObscenityLawyer) August 3, 2012
Datta - A shower head of 8cm diameter had to be removed from a patient's bowel, which required a year's medical treatment.
#PornTrial— Myles Jackman (@ObscenityLawyer) August 3, 2012
HHJ - Circumference not as important as length? Datta - Yes
#PornTrial— Myles Jackman (@ObscenityLawyer) August 3, 2012
Update: The trial is now adjourned until Monday morning. Here's a good Storify rundown of the whole day.