Watch Lauren Conrad Rip Apart Books to the Sounds of Soothing Guitar [UPDATE]
[There was a video here]
UPDATE: It appears the video has been removed from Youtube (and Lauren Conrad's website). Buzzfeed managed to save a copy with dicey audio. Thanks for betraying us, LC. Now we know how Kristin felt.
UPDATE #2: We've found back-up video. Thank god, we may continue to ruin books in the name of craftsmanship.
Every week on Lauren Conrad's Crafty Creations, Lauren Conrad, The Girl Who Didn't Go to Paris, shows fans how to achieve headbands and storage space via underhanded, deceptive methods.
Last Thursday, she destroyed books to the soothing sounds of gentle guitar, and a box occurred.
The clip, a kind of literature snuff film, opens with Lauren resting her hand on her victims: a stack of books whose spines she will soon rip out. Lauren explains that this project "is a great way to display vintage books or slightly used books," though, by "books" she means "spines of books," for there will be no reading here.
What Lauren is creating is "a unique storage space," also known as a box. This box will have the spines of several books glued to one side of it, making it look, to the untrained eye, like a line of books rather than a unique storage space.
To create this Frankenstein's monster of book and box, Lauren notes that you will need glue, a knife, books, and a box. This last word she drags out for a extra fancy half-second, transforming it into "bohcks."
(A great tip for this project is to use books you'd like people to think you've read, but that you would never actually be able to get through because they are too advanced. Not only will you impress guests, you won't even feel bad about cutting these unreadable books to shreds. You may choose to use War & Peace or Ulysses. Lauren opts for A Series of Unfortunate Events.)
What transpires next is a series of unfortunate events.
With the unflinching precision of a seasoned murderer, Lauren slices the books apart, removing their front and back covers, as well as all the pages, which are no more than packing peanuts as far as this project is concerned.
As she butchers, Lauren notes that you can save the pages you are cutting out to read later on use in another project.
Then, in a moment that is truly heartbreaking, Lauren attempts to describe one such project:
I have a wall in my office where I taped a bunch of [brief, insecure pause]…book pages up there…um [voice drops to a nearly inaudible whisper]…just kind of a fun decorating idea.
After you've chopped up all your books, glue them to your bohcks, and now you have a bookbohcks.
FINAL TIP: Lauren advises gluing the book spines to the outside of the storage box. Otherwise, you have merely created a unique storage space for book spines.