TAMPA, Fla.— These are the contents of the free swag bags handed out to all credentialed media at the 2012 Republican Convention:

  • One University of Tampa brochure and chip clip.
  • One Tampa Bay Storm beer cozy.
  • One poolside relaxation kit: cheap shades, sunscreen, handheld fan/ personal intimate massager.
  • One package of CSX-branded breath mints.
  • One copy of "The Patriot's Essential Liberty Companion Guide to Our Founders' Wisdom."
  • One copy of BAYPOP magazine (sample copy from editor's note: "You may be wondering who the handsome man is on the cover of the magazine you are holding right now. Is he some rising star Senator or hopeful Congressman? A political pundit? A famous actor? Despite the fact that our cover model resembles Robert Redford in The Candidate, he is none of the above. Instead, he represent an ideal: the notion of The Young Delegate who is effecting political, social and economic change in Tampa Bay—and the rest of the country.")
  • One copy of Mitt Romney's book, No Apology: The Case For American Greatness.

I guess you can always use a chip clip.