A very déclassé thing happened to Joelle O'Reilly-Hyland as she and her family were about to board the 9:30 pm ferry to Woods Hole from Martha's Vineyard. She was arrested for stealing cute outfits.

According to the Martha's Vineyard Times, here is a list of the things Joelle O'Reilly-Hyland, who is a millionaire, stole:

  1. A $36 necklace from a surf shop.
  2. A $96 embroidered shirt from the same surf shop.
  3. A cashmere sweater with a fox embroidered on it. The exact price of this item is not given, but we'll lowball it at $118 since O'Reilly-Hyland was charged with "larceny of goods valued at more than $250." Also "wanton destruction of property" because she damaged the sweater when she removed its electronic anti-theft tag. You may be wondering how she can be charged for destroying her own sweater. Remember: it was only her sweater because she stole it.

O'Reilly-Hyland and her husband are managing partners at "an independent investment boutique," which is rich people talk for "a thing." In 2009, they listed their Manhattan townhouse for $19 million, though it only sold for a paltry $10 million, barely enough to cover one surf shop necklace.

O'Reilly-Hyland was caught when a manager at The Green Room surf shop recognized the fun fox sweater she was wearing as one stolen from the manager's friend's shop on Martha's Vineyard.

While her husband purchased a paddleboard from The Green Room, O'Reilly-Hyland took a few items into a dressing room, including an embroidered shirt. The shirt was later discovered to be missing.

Police were warned and went to the ferry terminal to wait for the family, who would be leaving that evening.

According to one officer, after questioning, O'Reilly-Hyland stated that she initially asked the Green Room manager to sell her husband the paddleboard for 50 percent off, which makes sense because.

When the manager refused, she took the shirt "as payback for them not giving her the discount for the paddleboard."

O'Reilly-Hyland also told cops that she bought the sweater, which she was still wearing, online. Then that she bought it in Woodstock, New York. Then that she really liked it and just fucking stole it okay? (Her reasoning, according to police: she "was concerned that her husband would be upset if she kept spending money.")

Earlier this year, O'Reilly-Hyland and her husband held a party for the book Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think.

Here are the first two sentences of the book's description on Amazon:

"We will soon be able to meet and exceed the basic needs of every man, woman and child on the planet. Abundance for all is within our grasp. "

Indeed.

[Martha's Vineyard Times // Image via Flickr/colros]