From #MurderForPizza to #TooFatToKill: The Best of Nancy Grace, Queen of Hashtags
Nancy Grace, the crazy lady who yells about justice on CNN's Headline News, might have the best account on Twitter. It's mostly just a reflection of her show's moralistic, crusading tabloid tone (a lot of moms accused of murdering their kids, or kids accused of murdering their moms, or pregnant moms murdering each other) but the Twitter format elevates it to a whole new level of blank, almost meditative vapidity, especially in her hashtags — small, violent tone poems sloughed of almost all meaning and beamed out to an unreplying universe. Below, a collection of her best, organized by category.
Moms
#PregMomRunOver:
How do you accidentally run down a pregnant mom at a golf course? #PregMomRunOver
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) September 14, 2012
#PregnantMomMystery:
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) August 17, 2012
#VodkaMom:
Mom of 5 drinks all weekend then passes out on the sofa, only to awaken & realize that she’s crushed her newborn infant #VodkaMom
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) June 12, 2012
#MomStabbedInBack:
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) July 26, 2012
Babies
#BabyForSale:
#BabyForSale? Call me now: 877-626-2901
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) June 26, 2012
#BabyInDryer (this might be, no exaggeration, the Best Tweet of All Time):
The issue here is when you have a child & then try to murder it #BabyInDryer
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) September 11, 2012
#DeadBabyInCar:
Right now all we know is that a 9-month-old baby boy was found dead in a car #DeadBabyInCar
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) August 28, 2012
Death
#HammerDeath:
Cops: Teen bludgeons mom with sledgehammer on.hln.tv/2m7ZWo #HammerDeath
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) September 25, 2012
#iPhoneDeath:
Cops: 25-yr-old babysitter-turned-lover mows down & kills teen boyfriend w/her SUV after he drops & breaks her iPhone! #iPhoneDeath
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) June 7, 2012
#MiniGolfDeath:
This girl was electrocuted—that’s probably more painful than a lot of other things #MiniGolfDeath
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) August 28, 2012
Food & Drink
#CrockPotWifeKiller (for some reasons, Grace appears to have deleted all #CrockPotWifeKiller tweets, but the great Matt Cherette has saved a screencap):
#MurderForPizza:
Did 2 teenage boys, 13, murder grandma for pizza? #MurderForPizza HLNtv.com/Nancy Call now: 877-626-2901 twitter.com/NancyGraceHLN/…
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) September 26, 2012
#HotCupOfPoison:
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) August 9, 2012
#CoffeeMugMurder:
I’ve heard of death by microwave, by washer or dryer—but never death by coffee mug #CoffeeMugMurder
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) August 25, 2012
Miscellaneous
#ShoppingCartPorn:
Believe me—what these people found in their cart definitely wasn’t a bargain #ShoppingCartPorn
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) July 3, 2012
#CreepySexDiaries:
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) August 16, 2012
#HackedToDeath:
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) August 11, 2012
#DrunkMercedesGirl:
A 21-yr-old plows a red Mercedes convertible through the home of a 96-yr-old grandmother. What happened? #DrunkMercedesGirl
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) May 31, 2012
#TotInWasher:
#4thOfJulyMiracles:
The "Too Fat" Series
#TooFatToDie:
Wait till you hear this guy's complaints! Do you think 480lb-Killer is #TooFatToDie?
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) September 18, 2012
#TooFatToKill:
This woman says she's #TooFatToKill 2-yr-old nephew. What do you think? HLNtv.com/Nancy twitter.com/NancyGraceHLN/…
— Nancy Grace (@NancyGraceHLN) September 26, 2012