Peggy Noonan—White House veteran, Sunday morning talk show staple, author, Wall Street Journal political columnist, and intrepid explorer of America's darkest corners—is paid handsomely to offer her professional, expert political opinions, which many readers take very seriously.

We begin with the three words everyone writing about the election must say: Nobody knows anything. Everyone's guessing. I spent Sunday morning in Washington with journalists and political hands, one of whom said she feels it's Obama, the rest of whom said they don't know. I think it's Romney. I think he's stealing in "like a thief with good tools," in Walker Percy's old words. While everyone is looking at the polls and the storm, Romney's slipping into the presidency.

"And there's the thing about the yard signs. In Florida a few weeks ago I saw Romney signs, not Obama ones," professional political expert Peggy Noonan writes. "Is it possible this whole thing is playing out before our eyes and we're not really noticing because we're too busy looking at data on paper instead of what's in front of us?"

No.

[You have to be fucking kidding me with this shit. Photo: Getty]