"Three reasons Obama will win; three reasons Romney will win"—Los Angeles Times headline, which accurately describes the story below, which is simply a list of "three reasons each candidate has to expect victory." (Which of these reasons are correct is not discussed.) What else is in the paper today?

WEATHER: Three reasons it will rain; three reasons it will not rain.
SPORTS: Three reasons your team will win; three reasons the other team will win.
TRAFFIC: Three reasons there will be a wreck that delays your commute today; three reasons there will not be a wreck that delays your commute today.
EVENTS: Three reasons the concert is at 8 p.m. tonight at the arena; three reasons the concert is taking place at a different time and location.
OPINION: Three reasons I am right; three reasons I am wrong.

Maybe reporters should just take this slow news day off.

[LAT. Photo: AP]