Charles Darwin Loses To Missing Link
In a hotly contested Congressional race in Georgia, Charles Darwin, the father of evolutionary thought, was unable to beat Republican Paul Broun. Darwin, well known for suggesting that men landed on earth after being deported from the Planet of the Apes, failed to unseat the incumbent, who campaigned on an anti-science platform, and at times refused to acknowledge that air existed, since he was unable to see it.
Late in the election, Broun drew criticism from the rational residents of Athens, Georgia, when he said:
"All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell. And it's lies to try to keep me and all the folks who are taught that from understanding that they need a savior."
Broun learned all this satanic nonsense when he got his Doctor of Medicine from the Medical School of Georgia at Augusta, where he concentrated on Medieval medicine and curing cancer with leeches.
Controversy is nothing new to Dr. Broun. Back in 2008, he warned America about President Obama's Marxist Gestapo group that would impose a dictatorship in our country, proving not only that he was a wizard in science but in history, as well.
Like all good meaning science deniers, Broun has suffered the persecution of the liberal elite in Georgia. Mark Farmer, the chairman of the biological sciences department at the University of Georgia, pointed out that Representative Broun was a member of the House Science, Space and Technology Committee, and questioned whether someone that did not believe in science should in fact serve in such a capacity. He said,"If you truly don't understand or accept the basic tenets of modern science, I find it difficult to see how you could be making basic judgments about science policy." Which is ironic, since it is something so easy to see.
Despite the persecution from the left, Broun survived the election. Darwin only received 4,000 write-in votes, and would not have been able to serve, because he is dead. The good news for America, however, is that Broun will retain his seat on the House Committee, where he will still fight the satanic empiricism that is slowly destroying America.
