Inaugural Official Confirms to CNN: Beyoncé Lip-Synched, Is a Terrorist
CNN has just published a breaking news bulletin confirming that America's No. 1 threat to national security, the pop-singer Beyoncé, did not sing live at Monday's Presidential Inauguration and Live Singing Only Ceremony.
"She did not sing live," [an anonymous inaugural official] told CNN. A pre-recording of the artist's rendition of the National Anthem was played instead. What was heard by spectators and viewers was the sound of that recording, according to the official.
According to the official, Beyoncé made the decision to use pre-recorded audio Sunday night, because she did not have time to rehearse with the Marine Band. The official also observed that Beyoncé's recording "was spot on" #diva #flawless.
Yesterday America lost its collective shit after a spokeswoman for the Marine Band told the London Times that Beyoncé had not performed live.
Later, the Marine Corps, which is less powerful than Beyoncé, recanted the spokeswoman's statement.
